Controlling the chaos

By Daniel Thomas, CGS Musician

One of the more interesting philosophical takes I’ve heard in the last few months has come from a children’s animated series (thanks, Joshua!). In this cartoon, a man is planning to the minute the actions and activities of him and everyone around him – even the impending birth of his child. When his wife goes into labor a day earlier than “scheduled,” he panics, and his frenzied journey to the hospital is met with unexpected obstacles the entire way. At one point he breaks down and, his worldview collapsing around him, utters:
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“Control is just chaos going your way for a bit.”

Then, as he begins to roll with the unexpected, he makes it to the hospital, just in time to witness the birth of his daughter.

I do crisis management well; I’ve always known that I do some of my best work when I’m up against the deadline, or when the best-laid plans have been thrown into chaos.

In live theater, a stage manager sits in a booth in the back of the house, giving all the cues to the crew for when lighting cues should change, curtains should rise or fall, sound effects should go off, or scenery is to be changed. I love doing stage management because I’m helping to control the production, giving the actors a well-planned, safe, and supportive environment in which to perform – but I also love it because something, somewhere, always goes awry, and it’s the stage manager’s job to fix it. Actors skipped ten lines of dialogue? It’s your job to catch the lighting and sound cues up. Someone forgot a prop? Find a crew member or actor to sneak it onstage. Piece of furniture broke? Tell the crew to use the table from Act Two instead. I get to control the chaos, and if I’ve done my job well, the audience never knows anything was wrong.

The funny thing is, as well as I can live in the chaos, I actually dislike it intensely when the little things, the easy instructions, go wrong.

I write all of this because I sometimes view the worship service as a production: everyone has a part, from the Pastor to the lay leaders to the congregation, and there is a script (the bulletin) with lines and stage directions (stand up, sit down, come to the altar). I feel good when everyone’s said their dialogue, hit their marks, and we’ve shared the word and good news of God without any mishaps.

But that never happens. I play the wrong hymn. Someone forgets to invite the congregation to stand or sit. Prayers are skipped. The microphones are too loud or too quiet or not turned on. And when that happens, I feel like we’ve done a disservice to the worship service. How will a guest or potential new member react when it looks like we don’t know what we’re doing?

Pastor Manda is wonderful at reminding me, and all of us, to embrace the chaos. Acknowledge our failings. A perfectly smooth worship experience is not what brings us closer to God. In fact, we are closer to God when we accept our own humanity, with all of its flaws and foibles. Would I rather worship with a perfectly polished, well-oiled machine of a service, or with a community of people, each giving their best efforts to love, support, and lift each other up, succeeding much of the time, not quite getting there once in a while?

“Control is just chaos going your way for a bit.”

Perhaps if I worry less about trying to control the chaos, the chaos will go my way more often.